The Table of Duties: The Family

Sermon for Midweek of Oculi – Lent 3

Small Catechism Review: Table of Duties

This evening our Table of Duties turns our attention to the family and to the duties of husbands and wives, parents and children.

We begin with husbands, and our Bible passages are taken from 1 Peter 3 and Colossians 3. Husbands, dwell with your wives with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. And…do not be bitter toward them. We might also add Paul’s words to the Ephesians in chapter 5: Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her…So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.

It’s a given for both St. Paul and St. Peter that marriage is only between a man and a woman, and that marriage is for life, that there should be no adultery, no straying, no unfaithfulness, and no divorce among Christians, unless husband or wife falls into the sin of adultery. It’s also a given that sexual relations are to be reserved for marriage. Both apostles speak of those things in other places. So with those things understood about marriage, the question is, how is a husband to live within the bonds of holy matrimony?

Well, he is not to be gruff or uncaring or bitter toward his wife. Ever. Even when he’s tired. Even when he’s frustrated. Even when she’s said or done something he doesn’t like. Instead, he is to love and cherish her and honor her as his coheir of eternal life whom God intentionally made to be the “weaker” vessel, that is, the one who is softer in demeanor, less forceful, less physically strong. He is to love her as his own body and never do anything to harm her, but should be ready to sacrifice his own life for her. That kind of love goes beyond a feeling. It’s a daily choice that a Christian husband is to make, as a sinner who has been redeemed by the blood of Christ and who now wishes to serve the Lord Christ in his duties as a husband.

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror. We might also add Paul’s words to the Ephesians in chapter 5: Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

How is a wife to live within the bonds of holy matrimony? This matter of submitting to her husband is not the least bit palatable to the world anymore as the world seeks to demolish every good creation of God and every good design of the Creator. The world would have women on the front lines of battle, just as physically strong as a man, and, actually, even stronger. The world would have women be loud and forceful and in your face, submitting to no one. But the Lord would have wives submitting joyfully to their husbands in love, not as a slave submits to her master, but as the Church submits to Christ, not as one who is being forced into submission, but as one who wants more than anything to please the Lord Jesus. He would have women pursue the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. Again, that’s not the message that women hear from the world or that bubbles up from our sinful flesh, but then, the world and our flesh have never been friendly to Christians or to Christ.

Fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, lest they become discouraged, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

St. Paul speaks to fathers, but the word can also include mothers. How do fathers and mothers provoke children to wrath? By being cruel toward them, never satisfied with them, dismissing them as a bother or a nuisance. No, that is not the duty of a Christian parent. Christian parents are to raise their children with love and compassion, raise them to know the Lord, to know right and wrong from His Word, to know who God is and what He has done for our salvation. That takes teaching, it takes training, it takes discipline, and it takes sacrifice.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”

The world, in its degeneration, has nearly abandoned this simple teaching, that children are to obey their parents. But even if the world makes children the masters and the parents the servants, Christian children are to be different. They have been given a duty straight from the Lord, to honor their father and mother, which includes obedience, but also more than that. It includes respect. It includes gladly setting aside their own desires in order to carry out their parents’ wishes. Not sometimes, but all the time.

Now, more could be said about husbands and wives, parents and children, but these midweek services are only meant to serve as a general review of our Christian duties. Where you have failed to do your duties, where I have failed to do mine, let us repent and look to Christ, who fulfilled His duties perfectly and gladly, including His duty to His Father to suffer and die for our sins. Throughout this Lenten season, let us keep our eyes fixed on Jesus as He fulfills all His blessed duties for us, so that we have all the motivation we need to fulfill our duties to Him. Amen.